


Truth Be Told

by nofrankinway



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Eating Disorders, Frerard, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Self-Harm, Slash, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Underage Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-09 02:39:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1965819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nofrankinway/pseuds/nofrankinway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>EXCERPT FROM FIRST CHAPTER:</p>
<p>Frank doesn't speak, he can't, and its easier that way. With all of his experiences and pain it's easier not to. These people no one else seems to see also tell him its easier not to talk they say it will protect him till his time. He believed them not know what else to depend on. These "friends" as he liked to call them, had been with him since what seemed like forever. They were dependable, and that's what Frank needed. Even now they were with him as he entered hell or in normal people terms, an asylum. Frank wasn't insane. Frank still had all of his marbles, he just didn't speak, hated to be touched, and had really dependable friends. They just didn't understand. Those people in the stupid white pajamas, faked everything! They even faked interest in Frank! And they said they cared. But one boy noticed him and that truly scared Frank. The kid with the black hair sitting alone seemed to watch Frank's every move, every breath. Frank was scared stiff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day !

Frank doesn't speak, he can't, and its easier that way. With all of his experiences and pain it's easier not to. These people no one else seems to see also tell him its easier not to talk they say it will protect him till his time. He believed them not know what else to depend on. These "friends" as he liked to call them, had been with him since what seemed like forever. They were dependable, and that's what Frank needed. Even now they were with him as he entered hell or in normal people terms, an asylum. Frank wasn't insane. Frank still had all of his marbles, he just didn't speak, hated to be touched, and had really dependable friends. They just didn't understand. Those people in the stupid white pajamas, faked everything! They even faked interest in Frank! And they said they cared. But one boy noticed him and that truly scared Frank. The kid with the black hair sitting alone seemed to watch Frank's every move, every breath. Frank was scared stiff.

The kid with the black hair didn't seem to be much older than Frank, at the most he was 17 and Frank was only 16, from what he could recall. The kids black hair was stingy and slightly greasy covering his face, as he hunched over a book that he seemed to be writing in.

This kid was bigger than Frank, so was everything else in the world, and a bit chubby but it fit him well. He had a smallish nose that pointed up a bit. Frank began to think his nose was kinda cute but that thought quickly vanished as the black haired kids eyes reached his own.

All Frank could feel was cold, his whole being began to shake as the cold went straight to his bones. Frank had never felt something so empty and angry before in his life. As he tried to break eye contact with this kid, he knew right then that this kids eyes would haunt him for the rest of his small life. All the fear that had just been placed in side Frank, made frank want to run. He almost did but there was a small part of him that made him stay and need to fix this empty kid.

Frank didn't know why, but he knew, then and there, that he had to. And that's what his friends whispered into his ear as Frank turned to walk down the white hallway.


	2. Night Owl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nice friend you have there...

The first night in the asylum Frank couldn't sleep. When he finally determined that he began to pace and think. He didn't know how to feel or what to do about the empty black haired kid but, he knew it was important to help him. Frank didn't need help, he was here for the black haired kid. At least that's what he kept telling himself as he went back and forth between the sickening white walls.

As he did this he neglected to notice one of his friends sitting on his bed watching him. His friend also known as Ray sat with a slightly amused smile across is face watching as frank wore out the white tiled floor.

"You might want to stop pacing before you make a path on the ground" Ray said. Frank almost hit the wall from being jolted out of his thoughts by his friend.

Ray laughed then said: "What were you thinking about? Oh, wait! Don't speak I know already. You were think about Gerard." Ray again laughed

Frank furrowed his brow and thought, was that the kids name? the one with the black hair? Gerard? Must be. Ray always knew everything.

"Yes, Gerard is the kid with black hair. I really think he would look good with red hair but, thats a discussion for later. So Frank, I guess by now you think you don't need help you are here for Gerard, and while that's partially true you need help as well." Ray stated.

Frank's brow furrowed even more (if that was possible, god he was going to have so many wrinkles when he was older). He didn't need help he thought. He was perfectly fine just didn't like people much, guess that could be a problem?

"Stop frowning its not attractive! Anyway my point is Bob and the others don't want you to die so you need help. Putting you in here kills two birds with one stone! It's kinda perfect" Ray exclaimed.

Sure, Frank thought he had tried to slit his wrists open in the gas station bathroom, but he was okay, just sad he hadn't succeeded. And with this thought he look down upon his bandaged wrist and could feel the tears begin to well up inside himself as realized what a failure he was in life.

"Aww, is wittle baby frankie going to cry?" Ray teased "Anyway forget it and focus on Gerard, the suns almost up and you need to be prepared for your first day in the loony bin!" And with that Ray got up and left.

Frank began to feel so exhausted, as his body and mind finally realized he hadn't slept in days. Frank crawled over to the bed and quickly got under the cold, rough, blankets and began to cry till he passed out with exhaustion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey glad you read this far! Should i keep writing? Sorry for such a short chapter.


	3. Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Curious and curious

“Frank get up. Wake up young man it’s time to get up and head to the dining area.” said a heavy old lady dressed in a white nurses outfit. 

Frank groaned from exhaustion due to only getting about three hours of sleep. As he began to get up he finally opened his eyes and instantly regretted it. The light that met my eyes burned and I instantly closed my eyes feeling them water. Slowly he got up and went down the long white hallway. After a bit of wandering Frank came upon the dining hall. As he looked upon what was another white room he realized that there were a lot of patients sitting around. In the back of the dining hall he notice Gilbert? no no not right Gerard sitting in the back corner alone messing with the book he had yesterday barely touching his food. 

After taking all the sights in Frank went over to the counter and grabbed a bowl of cereal and shuffled over to the back of the hall and sat alone at a table, in the corner opposite to Gerard. As he sat down he felt eyes upon him. As he looked around his eyes finally fell upon the cold depths of Gerard's and quickly looked away to play with the food in front of him. He didn't eat it just wasn't what Frank did so he just sat and stirred the O’s in front of him around in the milk. 

Frank was so absorbed in playing with his food that he barely heard one of the nurses announcing they had to go to group therapy now. Frank got up and followed the group into a stuffy room with chairs forming a circle. Frank quickly sat down in a chair not caring who he sat next to when the person he assumed was the doctor walked in. 

“Hello everyone!” She said to overjoyed for Frank’s liking, “I’m Dr. Friedman for all those who don’t know! We have a new person who joined us yesterday and his name is Frank! Please stand and tell us about yourself Frank!” 

Oh shit. This is shit Frank thought. He slowly stood and smiled meekly. 

“Come on Frank tell us about yourself” Dr. Friedman demanded.

Frank shook his head vigorously, didn't she know he didn't talk? Dr. Friedman frowned as Frank sat down and refused to speak. 

“Fine Frank, lets move on. Hmm, how about you Gerard please share about anything.” said Friedman.

“Fuck you” muttered Gerard. All eyes went to the kid with black hair, while a few of the other kids gasped at his response.

“Gerard we do not use such vulgar terms in here, do you understand?” Friedman said astonished.

“Whatever I’m sick of you shitty sessions so I’m leaving!” Gerard then stood abruptly and stormed out.

Frank was really starting to like this kid even if he was a bit afraid of him, he sure did have balls. After this scene Dr. Friedman moved on to a kid named Fred who discussed how the aliens came for him last night and how they helped him realize he was fat and needed to lose weight. As people shared Frank started to doze from his lack of sleep. Luckily right when his eyes were about to shut completely Friedman released them to go to free time.

Frank followed every one out and headed straight for a big cushy chair to sit in and observe everyone around him. Frank was surprised that none of his friends had visited him yet it was already, from what Frank could see on the clock, around 12. Not like he wanted to see Ray for a while after he made fun of him but, it just wasn't like them.

As Frank was pondering this a nurse screamed at them to go eat lunch. Frank went and grabbed a salad and sat and the same table he sat in this morning. He looked over to his right and there was Gerard hunched over drawing, or something, in his book. Only stopping to grab a bite of his food then continuing in his book. Frank really was intrigued by him. Frank looked down at his food, not wanting to catch a glimpse of the cold eyes Gerard had. Ugh, Frank hated food so he just sat and stared off into the distance. 

After a while another nurse announced that they could go outside if they so desired. Frank felt it would be good to go take a nap in his room so after most of the patients filed outside, Frank got up and grabbed his food to throw it out. As he turned to go he was hit with what felt like a wall. From this impact Frank landed on the ground, his salad everywhere and a book open before him. Upon looking at the book he noticed a picture of a boy on it before it was snatched away and he was being lifted up by his shirt.

“Listen here you little punk” growled Gerard, “don’t ever, I mean ever look upon my sketch book or it will be the last thing you ever see you hear me?” Frank nodded profusely staring into the eyes that frightened him so much.

“And next you run into me like that I will make sure you don’t walk” and with that Gerard put Frank down and proceeded to punch Frank in the stomach and storm away. From the force of the punch Frank crippled to the floor, his stomach burning. 

“There’s baby Frankie again crying his wittle eyes out for his mommy” laughed Ray. With this Frank wiped his face and stood up slapping Ray in the face. 

“What the fuck! Why’d you do that? Wimp can’t stand to be teased. Any who guess you and Gerard are great friends now! He even has taken to drawing you now!” Ray stated.

So that’s why the picture of the boy looked so familiar! It was him, Frank! Strange to be drawing him though…

“Anyway got to go lots of important shit to fuck up so see you later midget” Ray said as he turned and left leaving Frank to again think about the strange kid named Gerard. Frank then began to walk down the hallway to get to his room. He stopped suddenly seeing Gerard at the end of the hall conversing with Bob! His friend Bob. Why was Gerard talking with him? Suddenly Frank went over to the two and tapped Bob on his shoulder. Bob jumped at the touch and turned to face Frank. 

Bob then smiled at Frank and turned to leave waving at the two as he did. Frank was perplexed by the whole situation that he almost forgot who he was standing next to. Almost. Frank turned and ran down the hallway and slamming the door shut to his room. Frank then went to his bed and fell asleep not bothering to get up for dinner. 

Finally after what felt like years, Frank finally slept and didn't wake up till the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading again! Look its longer c:


	4. Day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First encounters

*Gerard’s P.O.V.*

Gerard hadn’t slept at all last night. All he could think about was the strange new kid Frank. He did feel a little bad for punching him in the stomach because it was kinda his fault that he and Frank collided but, goddammit he shouldn’t have looked at his sketchbook! Thats the only reasoning that Gerard could figure out for punching the poor frightened kid in the stomach. After finally justify his anger Gerard really wonder if Frank could see Bob. I mean he touched Bob but, Frank could have just been acting, right?

Gerard deliberated this all night long while doodling in his sketchbook, and when a nurse came to wake him up, Gerard was waiting for her ready to go. As he strolled down the hallway he decided to finally talk to Frank.

Upon arriving in the dining hall, Gerard was disappointed at not seeing Frank at the table opposite of Gerards. Frowning Gerard grabbed some eggs and toast and sat down and distracted himself with his sketchbook periodically looking up to see if Frank had come to the hall yet. Eventually it was time for group therapy, Gerards favorite part of everyday! As Gerard found a spot in the circle Frank still had not arrived. This bothered Gerard but he tried to dismiss Frank. 

“Alright everyone I think to day we will do a partner activity to tell each other what’s been going on in the past day!” Dr. Friedman said cheerfully.

“Fucking perfect” Gerard muttered barely audible but, of course stupid Friedman heard!

“What did you say Gerard? Please speak up!” Friedman said eyeing Gerard suspiciously.

“Oh nothing Dr. Friedman! I just said I was suuuuppppper excited to share my feelings with one of the other patients! It’s been my dream to share with other mentally ill people!” Gerard said sweetness practically dripping off of each word he spoke.

“Oh I’m very glad to see you actually want to participate Gerard! In that case I think I will partner you with Nicholas! I think you too will be great together” Friedman said, amusement shining bright in her eyes.

Now first things first Friedman’s a bitch a complete and utter flaming asshole. Why? Well Nicholas is a special case. Nicholas suffers from multiple personality disorder. And they're not normal personalities.Oh no not a really shy person, to a mad person, to a sarcastic one. Oh HELL no! Nicholas goes from a paranoid person who hides under everything, to a child that thinks he’s a plan or some other moving thing. But we aren't done there! No Nicholas goes into a homicidal maniac ( if you’re lucky then you don't have to hear him speak) then to his most annoying phase where he won’t shut up about aliens and the predictions they planted in his head.

Friedman’s a bitch. Period. End of Story. 

As Gerard begrudgingly sat in front of Nicholas, Gerard noticed that Frank was still not around. The thoughts about Frank quickly disappeared as Gerard realized that Nicholas’s face was literally inches from his own.

“Get the fuck out of my face alien boy” Gerard growled.

“But but i neeeeeeeeed to tell you about the future! Your future! You neeeeeeeed to hear it the aliens told-”

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Or you won’t have a tongue to tell anyone anything. Got it?” Gerard said low so Friedman didn’t hear. Suddenly all the fear that Gerard had but into the boys face washed away as he stood up and started to run around making plane sounds. Gerard was done with this “therapy” so he stormed out into the hallway and decided to go check Frank’s room to see if he was there. As Gerard looked in Frank’s room through the small window he noticed that no one was occupying the room at the moment and decided to snoop around. As Gerard stepped in the room he noticed that the room looked as if no one lived in it. Except for the bed, it looked as if there was something red in the sheets.

As Gerard stepped closer to the sheets Bob walked right in front of him abruptly stopping Gerard from seeing the sheets.

“You should leave Gerard before you get caught, you don’t need to end up in solitary again. We all know how you enjoyed it last time.” Bob smirked.

“Shut up Bob, what do you even know?” Gerard retorted.

“I know your ass should be somewhere else. I know you don’t want to be back in solitary. And I also know you don’t need to know what’s on these sheets. I suggest you leave.”

“Wheres the new kid?”

“You don’t need to know, it doesn't concern you.”

With that last remark Gerard shoved Bob out of the way to look upon on the sheets. It confused him at first thinking it was paint or ink but, upon really looking at it he could see the browning edges around the red stained on the sheets. 

“What? What happened?” Gerard questioned turning around to face Bob who was gone. Gerard really didn’t understand why the blood was on the sheets but decided he better leave before he was caught snooping. As he left he took one last look around Frank’s room frowning. Did he, Gerard, cause this bleeding? Was it due to his punching Frank’s stomach? 

He shook that thought as he went to his room to doodle in his sketchbook. For some reason he kept drawing Frank. He didn’t know why but it’s all he could get out on the pages. They weren’t Gerard’s best drawings but, he really hadn’t had the time to study Frank’s features. Maybe one day Frank would let Gerard draw him? No he didn’t need to deal with the punk kid. 

After a while Gerard left his room to see if lunch was being served. When he arrived in the dining hall he could smell the putrid smell of what they called “soup”. He grabbed a bowl of the sludge and sat at his table. He didn’t bother to look around he just figured Frank wasn’t there and well he wasn’t. After lunch all of the patients went outside, except Gerard. He preferred to have some quiet time alone in the “lounge” room. Soon enough Gerard was settled on a couch doodling in his sketchbook.

He was so wrapped up in doodling he almost missed the movement in the corner of his eye. When he looked up he saw Frank standing there looking out the small windows behind Gerard. Gerard caught himself admiring Frank. Although he was short and thin he had some muscle on him, not a lot but it he looked really nice that way. And his short black and cute face with round hazel eyes. And his lips, nope not going there. I don't find the twerp attractive. Gerard quickly looked away trying not to think about Frank. 

After a while of Gerard ignoring Frank’s existence one of the nurses informed them that dinner was being served. Frank quickly followed after her and Gerard took his time. He didn’t know what to do but he had decided he wanted to try and talk to the kid so he grabbed a plate of prison food, sorry hospital food and plopped himself down in front of Frank.

The surprise on Frank’s face made Gerard stifle a laugh. 

“Well hello Frank nice to meet you.” They both sat staring at each other awkwardly until Gerard decided to try what he guessed was spaghetti. He looked up in the middle of putting some of the noodles in his mouth to see that Frank had pushed his food away from him and had his knees pressed up to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs as to protect himself. Gerard almost felt sorry that he sat here.

“So uh, Frank don’t you ever eat?’” Gerard said. Frank shook his head to say yes.

“Well I’ve never seen you eat and you’ve been here for what three days now? Don’t you think you should try to at least? I mean I know it’s shit but its better than you think!” Gerard said.

Frank smiled amusement on his face. With that Frank reached out and grabbed a fork full of his food and stuck it in his mouth. Gerard realized immediately that around his wrist were bandages. With the dots all connected Gerard stood up trying to hold tears back. 

“I’m so sorry Frank.” And with that Gerard was running down the hall to his room crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Look i made another longish chapter c: Thanks again for reading!


	5. Two Points of View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most is revealed

*Frank’s P.O.V*

Frank didn’t understand why Gerard apologized to him. Frank didn’t understand why he ran from him either. Frank didn’t understand Gerard. He thought for sure Gerard would definitely laugh or make fun of him because of the bandages around his wrist but, instead his eyes softened. He didn’t think Gerard had that side of him. Though he really didn’t know Gerard. 

Frank couldn’t get the image of Gerard’s eyes out of his head. They were so raw and exposed, they showed pain, fear, sorrow pain, a stark contrast to Gerard’s normal eyes. Frank also couldn’t understand why Gerard tried to be nice to him and sit with him! What was that about? Maybe because of Bob, he wanted to talk to him? Gerard made his head hurt, and ironically they hadn’t said more than a few sentences to him.

As Frank stumbled down the hall to the dining hall he mulled over the thought of Gerard sitting with him again. When he sat down at his own table he look over to Gerard’s. Frank frowned as he realized Gerard’s back was to him. Looking back at his cereal he heard his name called from a fat nurse. Frank walked up to the nurse she instructed him to go to Dr. Friedman’s office for an individual emergency therapy session. This really unnerved him due to two facts: 1. He had decided he hated Dr. Friedman and 2. He really didn’t want to discuss what he did. Frank knocked on her door and heard her say “come in!” He walked in and sat in a really uncomfortable squeaky chair.

“Now Frank what you did yesterday night was not acceptable. Do you hear me?” Without letting Frank nod or anything she continued. “I don’t know what you were thinking or how you found that sharp item to hurt yourself with! Next time you want to hurt yourself or even think about killing yourself I want you to come and talk to me about it. We were lucky John found you in time our you’d be dead, do you understand that? Is that what you want? Death? Frank you have so much to live-” and with that Frank stormed out not wanting to hear Friedmans bullshit. Frank wanted to die and everytime he had almost succeded he failed. He was a failure he could never do anything right. That’s what his parents always told him as they pushed him out the front door, telling him never to return. Frank wasn’t loved, wanted, he was a failure. Finally after running down the hall he collapsed into his bed tears flooding out as he cried everything out and falling to sleep.

*Gerard’s P.O.V* 

Gerard had avoided Frank at breakfast he didn’t know how to approach him. He didn’t want to deal with Frank he knew he would get too involved with him because he reminded him of someone he wasn’t sure who though.

“Gerard visitor” a male nurse said to him after breakfast.

Gerard followed the nurse to where he assumed was where visitors were supposed to be seen. He had never had a visitor in the year he had been in the hell hole they called a hospital. When he turned the corner a thin man with brown hair was sitting, nervously shaking his leg looking around. As Gerard made his way around the table he sat down and look at the kid and realized who it was. It was Mikey! His baby brother! Gerard smiled missing his brother immensely. 

“How have you been Gerard?” Mikey said smiling.

“How’d you get here Mum and Dad would never let you come?”

“I took the bus and walked the rest of the way. I told them I was going to Brian’s house. I just had to see you Gee, I’ve missed you so much.” Mikey said holding back tears.

“It’s okay Mikes I’m really glad you came. How have you been in this past year?”

“Oh fine”

“Don’t you dare lie to me Michael James Way! You tell me right now if you done it again or if you’ve been having those thoughts again right now.”

Mikey hung his head. “When you were taken away a year ago I was hospitalized because I tried to kill myself again, this time swallowing a whole bottle of pills. Once I got home from that I continued to cut for a bit but I also started to drink a bit. It it helped me forget for a bit but Mum noticed and started taking me to therapy which has helped a bit but occasionally a still slip and cut myself.”

Holding back tears Gerard said: “When was the last time Mikes?”

“Yesterday”

“Let me see it NOW!” Mikey rolled up his left sleeve tears rolling down his cheeks. Gerard looked down upon Mikey’s arm to see two fresh puffy cuts among all his old scars. 

“Is this all you did? And don’t even think about lying to me Michael.” Gerard demanded. Mikey rolled up his other sleeve showing Gerard four other cuts on his arm.

“Oh, Mikes how could you do this? Is it really that bad? Oh Mikey, I’m so sorry, I wish I could fix this. I wish I could make you better. I wish I wasn’t in here so I could be there to protect you Mikes and to help you. I’m so sorry Mikey please forgive me Mikes I should've never let my anger get the best of me.” 

“Gerard it’s not your fault.” Mikey said barely audible.

“But it is Mikey! It’s all my fault I should have been there for you! I’m your older brother I should be there to protect you!”

“Gerard are you still seeing Bob and Ray and all your other friends?”

“Ya but, Mikes what does that have to do with anything?” Gerard said frowning.

“I have to go Gerard. I will try to stop by again. I love you Gee, try and get better for me please?”

Gerard didn’t know what he had to do to get better but he didn’t want to argue. “I love you too Mikey, and I’ll try as long as you try too, okay?”

“Okay Gee” and on that note the two Way brothers hugged before Mikey left waving as he went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so this chapter kinda sucks because i wasn't sure how to reveal it all. Thanks for reading!


	6. Overcoming Obstacles

*Gerard’s P.O.V* 

Gerard walked out of the visitors area and into the dining hall. Gerard was sniffling and wiping at his eyes to make sure that no one could tell he was crying. As he entered he realized it was lunch time so he grabbed some food and made his way over to the back of the room. without thinking he plopped down in front of Frank. 

“Hey” is all Gerard muttered as he sat looking at his food. He didn’t look up when he heard a scratching noise. In a few seconds a small notebook came into his line of vision. He then read “Are you okay?” written by Frank. Gerard looked up at him and shook his head, averting his eyes from Frank’s. Frank took the notebook back and wrote “If you want to talk about it I’m here to listen.” Gerard looked up at Frank and saw Mikey. The way Frank looked at him right this minute reminded him so much of Mikey he had to swallow and look up at the ceiling to stop himself from breaking down and crying right there. 

He decided today was just too much for him. He had felt to many emotions today more than he’d felt in all his life. It had hurt him so much knowing that he couldn’t be there for Mikes, to comfort him, to stop him from hurting. His stupid fucking “parents” never cared or noticed before, and he realized that even now they wouldn’t. You’d think after losing one kid to a mental asylum they’d care, but they were self-absorbed assholes. They weren’t there the first time Mikey slit his wrist open and almost died in his bed, Gerard had. And now he couldn’t. He closed his eyes and willed all his shity feelings away and felt only anger boil up. 

He opened his eyes and looked straight into Frank’s and said with as much force as he could muster, “I don’t need to talk about anything. I don’t need help I’m fine. You Frank? You need help, and I know you aren't going to get it from the bitch Friedman.” And with that he left stalking to his room fuming with anger even punching the wall a couple times as he went.

*Frank’s P.O.V.*

Frank didn’t know what to think or feel about Gerard. This seemed to Frank a common theme with Gerard. He was mad at Gerard hurting him so much, but at the same time he felt sorry for Gerard because he knew there was so much pain behind his anger and emptiness he showed in his eyes. 

Frank decided to saunter down to Gerard’s room even though he probably regret it later. He didn’t know what to say to him but, he just felt like it was the right thing to do. As he was about to knock he looked over his shoulder and saw Bob nodding and smiling, as if approving of his actions. Frank blinked and Bob was gone. Frank then knocked on Gerard’s door and walked in. Gerard didn’t bother looking up from sketching in his book so Frank stood awkwardly by the door. Finally Frank walked over in front of Gerard and started waving his arms around in front of him hoping to get his attention. When this proved not successful Frank sat down next to Gerard’s bed and began to write in his notebook. 

“You’re right, I do need help and Friedman hasn’t helped, she just lectures. I’m not the only one who needs help though, i know something bothers you constantly and that’s why you keep people away from you. We both need help.” And with that he stood and handed it to Gerard. Gerard took it huffing as he did and read it. 

“You’re right Frank I do need help, but I don’t know how to be helped Frank. Bob and Ray and my other friends help sometimes but everyone says I'm hallucinating. Also they seem to be showing up less and less and i just don’t know what to do.” Gerard said, still not making eye contact.

Frank grabbed his notebook and began to write: “Maybe we can help each other? And I know what you mean I rarely see them anymore and it scares me because I know I’m losing them and I’m not sure if I can handle it.” 

Gerard read this and his face hardened. Frank began to feel wary about Gerard. 

“You know Ray and Bob? And the others? You better not be lying to me Frank or so help me God.”

Frank quickly wrote down “Yes, I know them they been with me since forever. I wouldn’t lie to you about this. Please don’t be mad at me!”

Gerard read this and his face softened slightly, for a second Frank thought he imagined it. Then Gerard looked at him his eyes searching to see if Frank was lying. Apparently he found nothing insincere in Frank’s eyes because he moved over in his bed and motioned for Frank to sit next to him. Frank complied making sure to not touch Gerard as he sat. Gerard looked at him funny due to the fact that Frank was practically sitting on the opposite side of the bed as if Gerard had a disease.

Frank quickly scribbled down “I don’t like to be touched.” Gerard nodded understanding. 

“Frank why did you cut yourself?” Gerard muttered. Frank really didn’t want to talk about it but he figured he needed to and felt, strangely, more comfortable with Gerard than with Friedman. 

Sighing he began to write. “I don’t know why I did it. I just felt so empty and alone. I felt scared. I felt that I was going to be forgotten again. I felt worthless just like my parents said. I just felt everything and nothing at the same time. The only way I knew how to do anything about it was to cut, but this time I think I actually wanted to die again. I actually wish the nurse hadn’t found me.” Crying Frank gave the book to Gerard. As Gerard read his eyes began to fill with tears. When he was done he looked at Frank and said “I’m so sorry Frank, I will always be here for you, I promise.” And with that he hugged Frank. Frank tried to get away but Gerard’s grip held him tight, eventually Frank relaxed and realized that having Gerard’s arms around him wasn’t that bad. He felt safe and protected something he had never really experienced before. When Gerard finally let him go he smiled at Frank and wiped Frank’s tears away.

“I’m so sorry Frank, but I will be here to protect you.” Gerard said smiling. 

“Th-than-thank y-you.” Frank stuttered out due the lack of him using his voice.

Gerard looked shocked but nodded and went back to drawing in his sketchbook. After a bit a nurse came in to tell it was time to eat. When the nurse realized it wasn’t just Gerard in the room he raised an eyebrow and left. They both left together and sat at Frank’s table to eat. Frank wasn’t going to eat but, Gerard gave him a look that was if telling him to eat, so he did. After dinner they split up and went to their own rooms. Frank tried to sleep but he couldn’t so he just sat and looked out the tiny window in his room, trying to see if he could see any stars. After a bit of this a light flooded his room and Gerard walked in. 

“Hey, uh I hope I’m not intruding but, I couldn’t sleep and Bob told me to come and see you.” Gerard said nervously. Frank motioned for him to sit next to him on the bed. “Couldn’t sleep either?” Gerard asked. Frank nodded.

They sat for a while and finally Gerard said “You remind me of my little brother, Mikey.” Then Gerard wrapped an arm around Frank and Frank rested his head on Gerard’s shoulder. After a while Frank’s eyes began to shut and as he fell asleep he, finally felt what it was like to be cared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading!


	7. Stupid Friedman

*Frank P.O.V.*

Frank woke up wrapped up in someones arms. For a second Frank panicked, then relaxed as he remembered it was only Gerard. He tried to turn over to see Gerard's face but, Gerard’s arms were very tight around him so he decided to try and fall back to sleep again. Right as Frank was beginning to drift off into sleep Gerard started to untangle himself from Frank. Frank looked over at Gerard and he smiled down at him. 

“Sleep well Frank?” Gerard said. Frank nodded and smiled back at him. Frank caught himself thinking about how cute Gerard was in the morning with his hair all tossed back and not in his face. His hazel eyes all sleepy and relaxed. Frank quickly shook those thoughts and got up to go to the bathroom and splash his face with water trying to wake up. As Frank looked in the small plastic mirror secured to the wall all he thought about was how ugly and fat he had gotten in the few day he had been in this hospital. Sighing Frank went back into his room and felt a little disappointed at not seeing Gerard. Frank decided to change then go and see if Gerard was in the dining hall. 

After he had changed into the stupid white pajamas that are standard for every patient, Frank walked to the dining hall. He grabbed some cereal and saw Gerard sitting at his usual table busy scribbling in his book. Frank was debating whether it was a good idea to sit with Gerard or not, when Gerard looked up and smiled at him. Frank smiled back and sat across from Gerard. 

“Frank you should eat you don’t look so great.” Frank frowned at Gerard, he really didn’t want to eat, he felt fat and gross. He knew that eating would only make him feel worse so he shook his head at Gerard. 

“Frank please eat” Gerard pleaded with him. Frank crossed his arms and shook his head again feeling quite childish doing so but, finally Gerard left him alone. Gerard did frown at him disapprovingly, which made Frank feel very guilty but he wasn’t going to give in and eat so he sat and waited till group therapy was called. 

After what felt like hours went by a nurse called for them to make their way to therapy and they all shuffled in. Frank sat down in the circle and Gerard sat down next to him, making Frank smile inwardly. 

“Hello everyone! It’s great to see you all! I think today will be just our normal going around the circle and sharing how we’ve been recently, okay?” Dr. Friedman walked in saying cheerfully.

“Yippee!” Gerard muttered under his breath.

“Oh I’m glad you’re so excited Gerard, you can start us off then!” Friedman said.

“Okay Dr. Friedman. Well I’ve been feeling absolutely, completely, fucking, fantastic really. I mean I just love everything being so white in this prison, I mean facility, It’s just so fucking brilliant!” Gerard said every word dripping with sarcasm. 

Cooly Friedman said “Nice to hear Gerard now we are going to move on to Frank. Frank how’ve you been?” Frank looked at Gerard and saw his anger growing towards Friedman who hadn’t reacted to what Gerard had said the way he had planned. Frank then looked at Friedman and shook his head. 

“Frank I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. I want you to talk about how you are feeling.” Friedman said her eyes never leaving Frank’s. Frank again shook his head, but she wouldn’t leave him alone.

“Frank if you don’t want to speak then write it down.” Frank shook his head again, he didn’t want to share anything.

“Frank-” Friedman tried to say but was cut off by Gerard saying “Leave him the fuck alone, if he doesn't want to share with you or anybody else then he doesn’t have too.” Friedman looked at Gerard with such surprise in her eyes. As she was about to say something to him, Gerard grabbed his hand and towed him out of the room and down the hall to Gerard’s room.

“God, I fucking hate that bitch Friedman! She thinks she’s God! She’s fucking no one!” Gerard screamed once they got to his room. Frank sat down on his bed while Gerard stalked around seething with anger.

“She can’t leave anyone alone! God she pisses me off so much!” And with that gerard punched the wall. Frank was really scared watching Gerard scream and hit the walls. Finally Gerard sat down next to Frank on the bed, breathing heavily from throwing himself around. Frank looked at Gerard’s hands and saw that he had split some of the skin on his knuckles from punching the walls. Frank got up and went to the bathroom to get a wet towel. He then walked over to Gerard and sat down in front of him and began to wash the blood off of his hands. Gerard’s breathing had finally calmed and he looked up at Frank and muttered “Thanks.” Frank could see that the anger still hadn’t left Gerard’s eyes yet so Frank got up to leave. 

“Uh Frank, um would you like to stay?” Gerard muttered. Frank shook his head and sat down next to him on the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is kinda short! thanks for reading!


	8. Perfection Ruined

*Gerard’s P.O.V.* 

I’m glad Frank decided to stay, he makes me feel better. Frank had fallen asleep next to me on the bed. This gave me time to perfect a drawing of him. I had drawn him a thousand times from only memory. They were never that great but, now he could draw the beautiful face in front of him. He looked so peaceful and innocent in his sleep unlike when he was awake. When he was awake he always looked so scared. This moment was perfect, I could draw Frank the way I wanted to not missing any details. Drawing all of his visible tattoos and studying every curve and shadow on Frank’s face. It was possibly the only time he could do this without being creepy.

“It’s creepy to draw him, whether you think it is or not.” Ray stated. God I hate that fucking bastard I prefer Bob to him anyday. At least Bob didn’t piss him off as bad.

“What the fuck do you want Ray? Don’t you have someones ass to go kiss?” I threw back at him.

“Sorry son I don’t like ass, I’m more of a boob person but, I see you have a thing for Frank’s ass hmm?” Ray stated eyes challenging my own.

“GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. RAY.” I screamed in his face. I was not in the mood for his bullshit. He had ruined my moment. I was peaceful and happy and there was Ray to fucking ruin it. 

“Gerard what's wrong?” Frank wrote concern showing in his eyes.

“Nothing, it was just Ray being fucking Ray, you can go back to sleep if you’d like.” I stated, Ray had already left so now he just had to worry about Frank. Frank nodded before placing his head back on the pillow and his eyes slowly shutting. I looked back at my drawing, before deciding to draw another one of him. About half way through my drawing I heard sniffling and looked to see Frank crying in his sleep. This practically broke my heart, he looked just like Mikey when he was just a child. Frank was curled up into a small ball sobs racking his small body as tears ran from his closed eyes. 

I was unsure what to do for Frank. I decided to lie down next to Frank and stroke his hair and rub his back, hoping to calm him. “I’m sorry” he mumbled in between sobs. I didn’t know what he was dreaming about but, all I knew was I wanted him not to feel so sad. I hugged the small, sleeping, crying boy tight whispering “It’s okay” To him until he finally calmed and fell into a deep sleep. Soon I followed suit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted in a while and that this is so short! I have been sick recently as I have a really bad immune system then my mum had surgery. I'll try to be better!


	9. Frank's story

*Frank’s P.O.V.*

I woke up to a Gerard wrapped around me. I felt myself smile at how safe and happy I was in this position. I looked over at him to see his sleepy face smiling back, his hair a total mess. He was adorable.

“Good mornin’ Frankie” he said sleepily. “Frank yesterday after you uh, fell asleep you um, you started crying and shaking. I was wondering what caused you to feel so so uh, sad. Do you remember why you were crying?” I shook my head, I did remember the dream it was vivid, it was a memory that I could never get out of my head. It always haunted me in my dreams but, I didn’t want to share it with Gerard. I had just got him to like me, I didn’t want to lose him because of it. 

“Frank I know you’re lying to me. Whatever it is, I can help you through it.” I shook my head again and wrote “You wouldn’t think of me the same after I told you. I don't want to lose you.”

“Frankie whatever it I won’t think of you differently. And I promise you, you won’t ever get rid of me. I’ll be here till you don’t want me, and then I will still stick around.” Gerard said smiling. I believed him. Every word, his honesty showed through. I nodded beginning to write out my dream, my memory, my nightmare.

“It was about a year ago, I got home and my parents were waiting for me sitting on the couch. I knew something was wrong when I walked in. My mom told me to sit down, my dad wouldn’t even look at me. Finally he told me that they had enough of my shit and that they were disowning me and to never come back. They gave me a bag of clothes and basically shoved me out the door. I didn’t know where to go so I just kept walking. I didn’t have many friends that actually had a place I could stay so I wandered through the town. Finally, after a while I was exhausted so I decided to sit down in an ally to sleep. When I was almost asleep I felt arms grab my shoulders and pull me up and smash me against the wall. This guy was huge and smelled of alcohol he yelled at me and started to rip my clothes off. I tried to fight but he was so much stronger than me.” I finished writing my hands shaking and tears running down my cheeks. Gerard took the paper and read it, the whole time shaking his head. As he reached the end of what I had wrote he had tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He looked at me and whispered “I’m so sorry Frankie, this should've never happened to you. I promise on my life that I will never let something like this happen to you ever again. You’re safe with me Frankie.” With that Gerard hugged me tight, tears running down both of our cheeks. 

We stayed like this until a nurse came in to inform us to go to the dining area. We she saw that it wasn’t just Gerard in the room her eyes widened in surprise. She didn’t say anything else but, she quickly left. We walked down the hall in a peaceful silence. When we got to the hall we grabbed some food and sat down at our table. I wasn’t going to eat my food but, Gerard gave me a look telling me to eat, so I obliged. After a bit a nurse came and told Gerard that he had an appointment with Dr. Friedman now, and to go to her office now. I really didn’t want him to leave, but he had to go. He got up looking very unhappy with having to meet with Dr. Friedman but, left anyway.

I didn’t know what to do since he left so I played with what was left of my cereal. After a bit I realized someone was standing in front of my table. I looked up to see a patient with crazy hair and hate filled eyes staring at me. 

“So you’re the mute. Looks like you’re boyfriends not going to save you this time faggot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short again and I kinda left you hanging again.


	10. Solitary Confinement

*Gerard’s P.O.V*

I really didn’t want to leave him but, Friedman wouldn’t be happy if I didn’t at least show up. Plus, I don’t think the nurse was going to leave until I did so my only choice was to leave Frank. l walked down the hall to her office, when I got there I didn’t knock, I just walked in and flopped down on one of her stupid chairs. 

“That’s very rude Gerard, you don’t need to act like that. Now you better not come into this office again like that you hear me?” Without letting me respond she continued talking. “I see you are very fond of Frank. And I frankly, don’t like the two of you being close, especially the way you act Gerard.” 

“I think I don’t need to be here, so long and fuck you!” I then proceeded with getting up and slamming the door as hard as I could to get my point across. I walked down the hallway just glad I was done with her, and the added benefit of being able to talk with Frank more. When I walked into the dining hall I saw another patient looming over Frank, this really concerned me, so I quickened my pace to get to Frank. When I was only halfway across the room I saw the fear in Frank’s eyes as the guy talked to him. Then when I was only a few feet from Frank the guy punched Frank in the face, with a loud snap Frank’s head twisted to the side and he crumpled to the floor. As I saw this occur venom seemed to fill my veins and cause my anger to boil up inside me, fueling my hate. I don’t remember what happened next it all seemed to go black. When things began to clear up I saw the patient underneath me bloody and barely moving as I was pulled off of him by some nurses. My mind went straight to Frank and I saw him clutching his face, eyes wide with fear looking at me. Then everything went black again as I was sedated. Great.

I woke up, what I assumed was only a few hours later and looked around. I had been put in solitary freakin confinement. I didn’t think it was possible but the walls and furniture in this room were whiter than the other ones in this prison. I wonder if Frankie was really scared of me now. I mean from what I can tell I beat the kid with in an inch of his life. Frank was right to fear me, I was an awful person. If he only knew what I did before I got into this hellhole. It was good for Frank to be scared of me. I needed him to hate me. It would be better if he did, then I couldn’t hurt him, and he couldn’t hurt me. 

I decided to stay in solitary confinement for as long as I could. There was no sense in me leaving I had nothing of importance to do outside of this room. Plus, the longer I stayed in here the more, I hope, Frank would hate me. It had to be this way. Whenever a nurse would come in I would attack them. When my food got delivered half the time I would just throw them at the wall, causing them to be not so florescent white. It went on for this for about a week and I was happy to stay in here, except I didn’t have my sketchbook so I was bored to tears. Although to solve that I began taking the spoons and trying to carve things into the walls and furniture. The biggest dent I made was a carved G in the wall. Soon though they figured out what I was doing and stopped sending utensils in with my food. Bob and Ray rarely came. When Bob came he just told me to stop being so selfish, and that Frank “needed me.” Bullshit, and the fuck out Bob would be all I said. 

One time Bob threw a pillow at me and told me I was killing Frank by being such a dick. He didn’t come back but, Dr. Friedman did. This time I knew something was wrong when she came in. Usually she was a happy, chirpy, annoying person, but today she didn’t even smile. She came in her eyes downcast and sat down without even looking at him.

“How are you Gerard?” She said very quietly.

“Just peachy, and yourself?”

“Don’t you want to know how Frank is?” She said finally making eye contact with him. 

“No, I really don’t care what he’s doing.” Actually that was a lie I did want to know if he hated me or something but, I really didn’t want to ask.

“Really? You don’t care that he slit his wrist open? You don’t want to know that he barely ate anything for two weeks? You don’t want to know that in his letter he said you promised to be there for him and then you refused to come out of solitary confinement? You don’t want to know that your actions caused him to attempt suicide again? Really Gerard are you sure you don’t want to hear about it? For once in your life Gerard don’t you care?” She screamed at me angrily. After finishing her yelling she stormed out of the room. I felt something hot run down my face and I realized I was crying. I realized I had broken my promise. I realized that Frank didn’t hate me he needed me and I was a dick. I was selfish, just like Bob said. It was all my fault and I couldn’t get my head out of my ass to see that Frankie really needed me. And then he slit his wrists. The only thing left in my head was the thought, the possibility of him being dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry I'm kinda evil letting the ending be this. Okay im evil anyway thanks for reading!


	11. I Love You

*Frank’s P.O.V.*

It’s been over a week now. I haven’t seen him since he beat that kid. Leaving him bloody and broken because the kid hurt me. I had been afraid of Gerard at that moment. I mean who wouldn’t be scared of a guy holding down someone much bigger than himself beating the crap out of him. And the look in his eyes, empty and venomous. Once he was pulled away though and he saw me, his eyes soften with concerned. And now he’s in solitary confinement. I haven’t been eating much, no ones here reminding me to eat, so I don’t. Bob’s been yelling at me but, I really don’t care for his opinion. And Ray, well he just makes fun of me saying I miss my boyfriend. I do miss Gerard he was supposed to be here with me, to help me he promised. I mean it’s not his fault that he’s stuck in confinement. He should be coming out soon though. 

Also since he’s not been here more people have been making fun of me and using me as punching bag. I just really can’t stand it anymore, Gerard needs to come out. I decided to ask Friedman when he was supposed to be able to leave. She just looked at me and told me that once he stopped, attacking the nurses and throwing stuff at the walls he’d be able to leave confinement. I ran from her, straight to my room. Gerard was purposely staying in solitary confinement. Why? He’s supposed to be there for me whenever I need him and he won’t help me. 

I’ve convinced myself that he was lying to me the whole time. He had used me. He was probably only talking to me and hanging out with me as a joke. Let’s see if we can fuck with the kid that doesn’t speak or like to be touched! That should be great fun! Oh! While we are at it why don’t we just make the kid trust us, then get him to spill his guts so we can laugh at him behind his back! Sounds like a plan! 

He should of never trusted Gerard or Ray or Bob. What the hell did they know? Gerard didn’t need me to help him. I needed him though. Or I thought I did. Fucking Bob and Ray! They should've just let him alone and not got him stuck in here. He was not meant to be here, he wasn’t mental.

I decided to just kill myself. Gerard's never coming out of that room if I’m still here. He doesn’t like me, he just likes to be around me to laugh at me. You know what’s funny? I actually really liked him. No, I loved him, or was beginning to fall in love with him. I never thought I would ever be in love but here I was. And here he wasn’t. Gerard would never love him. Who would love a boy who had been ruined like he was. No one would. So this was the end for Frank. No one cared about him, so no one would stop him or miss him as he passed. His parents wouldn’t even know he was dead. They had disowned him. I was left with no one. 

I decided the night it rained to do it. I went into my little bathroom and saw myself in the mirror. I was so pale, my cheeks sunken in and purple bruises under my eyes from not sleeping. The clothes I wore were too big on my frame. I took my shirt off exposing my clearly shown ribs and collar bones sticking out, with numerous bruises all over. I was basically a walking skeleton at this point. I got some pills that I hadn't taken that the nurses had been trying to get me to take, and swallowed them all, about 20 in total. Then I decided that if I was going to make sure I died I sliced my wrists open and watched as my life drained into the sink. Soon I began to feel dizzy so I layed on the floor crying. I would never be able to tell Gerard I loved him, or that he broke his promise face to face he’d just have to read my note. As everything started to go black around I saw Bob’s face. From what I could see he was saying something like “Oh God Frank! What did you do?” tears began to fall from his eyes. I assumed he tried to stop the bleeding but I was too far gone. As everything went black the last though I had was would Gerard even care that I killed myself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frankieeeee
> 
> I'm still sorry about letting you hang but, after the next chapter maybe all will be revealed? This story though might be coming to an end soon though. Thanks again for reading this far even though you probably hate me right now.


	12. His Note

*Gerard’s P.O.V*

 

Friedman still won’t tell me if he’s still alive. Honestly it’s killing me not knowing. If he’s dead I don’t think I could live with all the guilt and regret. I’ve been good, I don’t throw my food anymore or attack the nurses anymore.

 

“Hello Gerard, it’s good to hear that you aren't beating up any of the nurses.” Friedman said scaring me out of my thoughts.

 

“When can I leave? Is Frank okay?”

 

“I think if you keep behaving, in a week. Here I want you to read this and think about it Gerard.” WIth that she handed me a piece of notebook paper that was folded in half, and left. I knew what it was right away and I was afraid of what it said. I was afraid that it would be an angry letter telling me to die. I would total understand that because he should after I left him to defend himself. What I read was worse than his anger.

 

_Dear Gerard,_

_I wish you hadn’t chosen to stay in solitary confinement. It kills me that you didn’t want to see me anymore. I thought we were friends. You promised to help me. You did for a while. I wish you would have told me that you didn’t want to talk to me or see me anymore, I think that would have hurt less than you just disappearing. That’s all in the past now. I forgive you Gerard, I hope you can forgive me for whatever I did. I wish I could tell you this in person but, I will never. Gerard, I love you. I have been falling for you for a while. Hard. I hope you can forgive me and forget about me. Have a great life Gerard for me._

_Love,_

_Frnk xo_

I was in tears. I couldn’t stop them from falling. He loved me. I was so stupid, beyond stupid. I had killed him in the end. I was supposed to help him. My Frankie! The Frank that I had watched in his sleep. His little chest rising and falling gracefully. The look of serenity on his face. I had taken that from him. I had taken his perfect smile and his peace. I had taken Frank’s life just by being an ass. I’ve hurt so many people and, I’ve never noticed it. I’ve hurt MIkey too. God, how could I be such an ass. It felt as if my heart was breaking into a million different pieces from the realization of how many people I’ve hurt that I love.

  
I love Frank, I’ve realized that now. If he’s still alive I will tell him, and make him believe it. I can’t hurt anymore people. I need Frank in my life, for the rest of my life. I love my Frankie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so next chapter, is frank still alive? keep reading! im sorry i keep holding the answer from you guys.


	13. Broken Heart

*Gerard’s P.O.V* 

After my week of behaving, which was torture, Friedman finally came to collect me from solitary confinement. I had bothered Friedman and the nurses everyday, asking about Frank, but they wouldn’t tell me anything. Finally when I thought the torture was over Friedman still refused to tell me anything. The first night back in my room was hard. I couldn’t sleep so I decided to draw which I had really wanted to do since I was put in confinement, but once I saw all the drawings that I had done of Frankie, I had no motivation to sketch. I needed to know Frank was alive, I needed him. I made my way to Frank’s room just to feel a little closer to him. When I walked in an overpowering smell of bleach burned my nose. 

Everything in Frank’s room was cleaned up, his bed had been made and everything else put away. It was like he never existed. I began to cry realizing that Frank, my Frank, was gone. I curled up into his bed sobbing and hoping I was wrong even though it looked like he was gone. I wrapped the covers around me inhaling his scent. I fell asleep there with my heart flooding out onto his pillow.

“Gerard, Gerard hun, you need to wake up.” Friedman said softly while shaking my shoulder.

“Go away! I don’t want to get up! I just want to stay with Frankie.” As I said that I began to cry realizing that he wasn’t in the bed with me or even in the same building.

“Gerard you need to leave this room now. Go and eat. You don’t want to go back to solitary confinement right?” She said a little more sternly. I complied, I really didn’t want to go back there. When I sat down in the dining hall I didn’t even touch my food. I couldn’t eat, I was sick to my stomach with guilt. I guess one of the nurses saw that I wasn’t eating and informed Friedman because there she was informing me I had to eat. When I refused she told me to come with her. Maybe I wouldn’t mind confinement now? I followed her not looking up from my feet as we went. 

“Gerard, look at me. Good, now we are in the medical part of the hospital. Now I want you to wait out here for a while and I will come back and get you, can you do that for me?” I nodded, what else could I do? I slid down the wall and waited. As I looked around the same bleach smell filled my nose. It took everything I had not to cry right there. The guilt was killing me I just couldn’t live with it. I couldn’t live without Frankie. After what seemed like eons, Friedman came and got me from my spot on the floor. She took me past a couple unoccupied beds and a lot of medical supplies. We also passed a couple nurses who looked at me with such sympathy in their eyes. Finally we came to a room with the door closed. Friedman gave me a sad smile and opened the door. She ushered me into the room and shut the door, leaving me alone in the room.

I turned around to face the bed and that when I saw him. He had bandages wrapped thickly around his arms. He looked so small and fragile in the big hospital bed. As I looked at him closer I saw how sunken in his cheeks were, all his bones sticking out. He looked so ghostly and I had caused this, all of it. I walked over to him and sat down next to the bed and just cried and apologized. I held his hand and told him I would never leave, and I’m so sorry I broke my promise. I told him I was selfish, that I never meant to hurt him like this. 

“I love you Frankie, please forgive me for everything.” I said looking at his beautiful face. As I finished saying this his eyes fluttered open to look upon my own.

“I I lo love you too.” He whispered smiling at me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayyyyyyyyyyy
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


	14. It's Not Your Time

*Frank’s P.O.V*

It was so white and bright. I didn’t know where I was. The last thing I remember was Bob crying. Why was he crying? Bob didn’t cry. Then it hit me, all the emotions and memories of Gerard, of everything. I had tried to kill myself and by the looks of it I had. I was dead. I thought it would be better, but there's nothing. I fell to my knees crying. I was dead and now I would be forever alone in this desolate place. 

“Frankie it’s okay. Frankie why are you crying?” A man said behind me with his hand on my shoulder. I whipped around to look at the man, and he reminded me of someone, he wasn’t really a man, still a kid, with glasses and brown hair. 

“Who, who are you?” I said trying to figure out who the kid reminded me of. He was tall, I guess, and thin really thin.

“Hey, it’s okay I didn’t mean to frighten you. I’m Mikey by the way. You probably don’t know me but, that’s okay, I know you. Also, you know my brother so don’t worry I’m not here to hurt you I’m here to help you. You see you’re not supposed to be dead, not yet at least.” This confused me even more. He knew me? I know his brother? I’m not supposed to be dead? 

“Who is you brother? I’m not dead? Why am I here? What’s here? Are you dead?” Mikey laughed at him due to all his question.

“Whoa one at a time Frank. No, you aren't dead, not yet, you’re kind of in a coma. As I said before it’s not your time yet, you still have a lot to do! You have a life to live, one that will be much better than the one you have already lived. And ya, I’m dead, I wish we could have met under better circumstances, but at least I got to meet you. And what is here? Well I’m not entirely sure how to explain it to you, but it’s kinda like a place you go before you go to heaven or any other place. Oh Frank look who it is! You have to say goodbye to them before you go on living.” Frank turned around to see Bob and Ray coming towards them.

“Hey Frank! How are you? I thought we wouldn’t get to see you again!” Bob said smiling.

“Wait, you guys are dead? Why are you leaving? You can’t leave! I need you! Please don’t leave me!” I said, tears beginning to flow down my face.

“Oh Frank! Don’t cry now! Oh Frank, you don’t need us anymore, and ya we are kinda dead, been for a while now. It’s our time finally to leave, I wish we could have stayed a while longer but, then we would never get to leave.” Bob said smiling reassuringly at me.

“Hey short stack, don’t worry everything will be better now don’t worry you small head.”

“Ray! Damn you! Couldn’t you be nice for five minutes! Especially the last five minutes we will have with Frank?” Bob said scolding Ray. I laughed I was going to miss them. My only friends that I have. Or I guess now, I had. This made me cry again, I was going to be alone now.

“Oh Frankie! You aren't going to be alone, don’t worry, you have Gerard now.” Bob said.

“I don’t want Gerard! He’s a fucking dick! He broke his promise and left me! He never cared he only wanted me around to laugh at! Why couldn’t I just be dead!” I screamed at them. Didn’t they understand why I had tried to kill myself? Didn’t they see what Gerard had done to me?

“Frank listen to me” Mikey said, “Gerard is a dick, I should know, but you see when he tries to push you away, he thinks he is protecting you. He thinks you don’t need, because he is so full of anger, and he thinks he’s going to hurt you. He doesn’t understand that you need him, and that he needs you. Now believe me Frank, Gerard is a dick, a complete asshole, but he needs you as much as you need him. Now Frank, Bob, Ray, and I need to leave. When the time comes I need you to tell Gerard something for me. Also don’t tell him about this experience until then okay? Can you do that for me?” I nodded. “Okay Frank, I need you to tell him, that it’s not his fault at all, I forgive him and he needs to forgive himself because it’s not his fault. Also tell him that he’s not mental and we all should have believed him, but that I love him, and to never forget that or me. You got that Frank?” I nodded again.

“Alright Frank we have to go, but we will always be here to watch over you. We will see you again someday, but not for a long long time. Don’t do anything stupid Frank.” Bob said smiling. All three of them turned and walked away fading into a bright light, leaving me sitting and crying. That’s when I heard something, first it was faint, like a whispering, but soon it got louder. I felt something touch my hand, but as I looked there was nothing there. I close my eyes and listened to the voice.

“I love you Frankie, please forgive me for everything.” With that I tried to open my eyes, while adjusting to the light. As I finally got a good look at the person, I saw I was in a hospital room. 

“I I lo love you too” I said struggling to speak. He was there, Gerard, of course I was still pissed at him, but I couldn’t deny that I loved him, and he loved me! Maybe Mikey was right, we do need each other. Who was Mikey? 

“Oh god Frank, I’m so sorry, I should have thought about how my actions would have affected you! Oh god, please forgive me Frank. I’m so sorry.” Gerard said on the verge of tears. I smiled at him, I wasn’t alone and although I was glad to see him, I hadn’t totally forgiven him just yet. Friedman came in, and looked surprised to see me awake.

“Gerard you have to leave now.” Friedman said sternly.

“No no pl please no” I stumbled out, I really didn’t want to be alone in this room. Friedman's eyes looked as if she had seen a ghost. 

“You can speak, huh, well Gerard has to leave he can’t stay in here.” I started to cry, this room was pretty scary, and I had no one else. 

“Please Dr. Friedman let me stay. I promise to behave! I’ll make sure he eats and doesn’t do anything stupid. It would benefit him if I stayed in here, plus it’s not like I have anything to do! Please let me stay.” Gerard pleaded. I nodded furiously behind him, trying to convince her that it would be good for him to stay.

“I’ll be right back.” She turned quickly and walked out of the room. A few minutes later she returned.

“Gerard I have cleared it for you to stay, until he is cleared to leave. The minute I hear something bad happened, I’m going to transfer you to another facility, do you understand me?” Gerard nodded and Friedman left, leaving them alone in the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh what did I do...
> 
> Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been dealing with somethings, and schools starting soon, FML. Any way Enjoy!

**Author's Note:**

> hi thanks for reading this crap i hope i can make it better! Sorry for it being so short I'll try to make the rest longer.


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